This is how it went today at a background briefing on Somalia and humanitarian aid in the Horn of Africa where the ISLAMIC terror group Al Shabaab has disallowed the delivery of aid—you know they will kill whoever brings food and then steal the food.

Here are a few comments at a mysterious press briefing by mysterious briefers likely hastily called because the New York Times and the Washington Post want to know what Obama is doing about starving Somalis:

SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL ONE: Let me just remind everybody that this is – this call is on background and ask that if you find quotes that you want to use that you attribute those to Senior Administration Officials. And I think what we’re going to do is I will try to offer a sort of a quick chapeau of where we are and what our concerns are and invite both [Senior Administration Official Two] and [Senior Administration Official Three] to add to that. And then we’ll be happy to take your questions.

A “quick chapeau” (a hat?) follows, then Senior Administration Official One turns the call over to Senior Administration Official Two from Mystery agency number two, well it has to be number two because Senior official one must be from the US State Department (this is on their letterhead).

So that is sort of the quick overview of where we are. I think you’ve probably seen stories in both The Washington Post and The New York Times today that describe this evolving situation, and let me ask [Senior Administration Official Two] from [Agency Withheld] if she’s got anything to add.

Senior Administration Official Two does have something to say:

SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL TWO: Yeah. Thanks, [Senior Administration Official One]. I just want to underscore how deeply concerned we are about the situation, really throughout the Horn as [Senior Administration Official One] described, but particularly in southern Somalia….

Now One turns it over to Senior Official Three (are you keeping up with this?):

SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL ONE: Thanks, [Senior Administration Official Two]. Let me ask [Senior Administration Official Three] from [Agency Withheld] if she has anything to add to this.

Of course she does:

SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL THREE: I’d like to reiterate what [Senior Administration Official Two] and [Senior Administration Official One] are already highlighting for everybody. It’s – I mean, obviously, the conditions are really terrible and it’s – it is no coincidence that the worst-affected areas are those that are under the control of al-Shabaab.

You get the drift, you can read the whole press briefing here.

Now here is my question for readers—WHAT THE HECK ARE THESE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PARAGONS OF TRANSPARENCY SO SCARED ABOUT?  Or, is this just a spoof—-an audition for the Jon Stewart Daily Show?

Are they afraid of…

1) Al Shabaab hunting them down and killing them in their beds tonight if they reveal their names? or

2) Those evil Tea Party budget cutters will get wind that money is being shipped overseas and know exactly which agency is behind it?  or

3)  They don’t want some poor suckers in the US military knowing who is sending them into Somalia (again!)? or

4)  Michelle Obama will tell them what food needs to be sent to a real food desert? or

5)  The most likely one—they don’t know how the hell to solve this.  The Administration has no idea what to do and no one wants to take responsibility?

Do you have a better guess?  Tell me.